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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27769495">I'm Proud of You, Kid</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/OrangeChickenPillow/pseuds/OrangeChickenPillow'>OrangeChickenPillow</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>CrankGameplays - Fandom, Crankiplier - Fandom, Unus Annus - Fandom, markiplier - Fandom</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Anxiety, CrankGameplays - Freeform, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Gen, Male Friendship, Markiplier - Freeform, Platonic Male/Male Relationships, Platonic Relationships, Platonic Soulmates, Self-Acceptance, Self-Doubt, Self-Esteem Issues, Supportive friend, Unus Annus, crankiplier - Freeform</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 23:07:41</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,712</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27769495</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/OrangeChickenPillow/pseuds/OrangeChickenPillow</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>When Ethan is inspired to make a short film, he just can't take the final step and release it to the world. However, when he gets Mark's advice on the video, he is touched by his friend's response.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Mark Fischbach &amp; Ethan Nestor</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>7</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>126</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Hello!</p><p>This is a fic inspired by some things said in the final week of Unus Annus, specifically Mark wanting Ethan to do great things. I thought it was sweet, and also Mark calling Ethan 'kid' melted my heart, so here we are. </p><p>Content warning: there is some mild swearing present, as well as heavy feelings of self-doubt and mentions of anxiety. If any of those things might negatively impact you, maybe skip this one. </p><p>Much love, and stay safe everyone &lt;3</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The ending of Unus Annus probably should have made him sad. Like everyone was saying, it was “the end of an era,” after all. But Ethan wasn’t sad. In fact, he was so insanely excited. His body practically buzzed with the feeling, and he simply couldn’t ignore it. </p><p>	All throughout the year, while they filmed and edited around the clock and the workload seemed to never end, Ethan just kept telling himself that it would all be over soon. That in a year, a few months, a few weeks he’d be able to take a well deserved break. Not that Unus Annus had been a bad thing. Difficult, yes. Trying, yes. Exhausting, yes. But it had been really, unfathomably good. </p><p>	It had been the thing to get him started again; to rekindle the fire that had gone out inside him. Because the funny thing was, while Ethan had counted on the thought of taking a break, now that Unus Annus was actually over, he found that he couldn’t stop himself. </p><p>	His mind flowed over with ideas. He was constantly writing them down on a notepad he had bought and dedicated solely to his creative endeavors. It was always by his side, and he scratched in it feverishly every chance he could get. Between recording videos for his channel, editing, and occasional livestreams on Twitch, Ethan cranked out idea after idea, saving them up in his notepad. </p><p>	In a way, Unus Annus had been one spark. Most definitely, Mark had been another. Ethan had always valued his friend’s opinion. He always liked to hear what Mark had to say about things, especially if those things were related to creativity. The older man had done a lot, and was always working on something that would prove to be amazing. Short films on his channel, A Date with Markiplier, Who Killed Markiplier, The You’re Welcome Tour, A Heist with Markiplier -- Ethan had been along for all of them, watching his friend work so hard to achieve one show stopping project after another. </p><p>	Ethan had always admired Mark for his ability to create. </p><p>	But Ethan had felt stuck. Sure, he wanted to make things -- desperately -- but what? He had no ideas, and the few that did form always stopped dead when he thought about how the fans would receive them. Ethan was one of his own biggest hurdles. He always second guessed himself, convincing his brain that no one would like the things he created, if they weren’t gaming. </p><p>People seemed to like his gaming content -- it was one thing he wasn’t bad at. To change it seemed out of the question. What if people didn’t like it? What if he failed, and then everyone made fun of him? What if people stopped watching because they got bored, or they thought the level of quality in his content had gone down?<br/>
The thoughts raced through his head a mile a minute, and that was always the end of his explorative ideas.</p><p>Then came Unus Annus. When they were in the planning phase, Ethan wasn’t sure it was going to work, which scared him a little. But he was doing it with Mark, who he trusted wholeheartedly, and it wasn’t too closely connected to his personal channel. What was the harm? Well, there was actually a lot of potential for harm, if Ethan thought about it, but he tried not too. Side by side with Mark and Amy, the three friends created something unique that would live on in people’s memories forever. </p><p>It had made Ethan feel good. But not only that, it had renewed his sense of creativity. Now that it was over, Ethan found himself with an infinite number of possibilities to do something amazing on his own. </p><p>Thoughts of Mark never left his mind while he was in the planning phases of a few big projects. The words his friend had given him during their “Being Brutally Honest with Each Other” video stuck with him. Every time he thought about what Mark had said -- that Ethan made cool stuff, and had so much potential -- his insides got all fuzzy and warm, and he longed even more to create. </p><p>The script for his first short film took several weeks to complete. Ethan was particular, combing over every specific detail to make sure it was exactly how he wanted it to be. And eventually, it was. He did some research, rented a place to film it, made sure all his equipment would be adequate for filming, and got some friends to help him out.<br/>
Only half a year after Unus Annus had ended, Ethan was ready to release his first short film. It was only about a twenty minute video, but Ethan was beyond excited to share it with everyone. The process to get it all filmed had been fun, albeit a little stressful, but Ethan was good with a camera, as were the friends that helped with it, and it all turned out exactly how he’d wanted it. </p><p>The editing process was absolutely grueling. Ethan had thought about hiring someone to help, but every time he considered it, he knew he wanted to do this part by himself. It took significantly longer this way, but by the time it was all over, he was glad with his decision. Everything was exactly how he’d hoped it would be.<br/>
He showed the finished product to the friends who had helped with production. They loved it, complimenting him on his creation. Ethan was flattered, insistent that he couldn’t have done it without them. </p><p>He showed Katheryn, who seemed to genuinely like it, and was an endless source of support. As they lived together, she had watched the project come to life from the very beginning, so she knew how hard he had worked to make it a reality. </p><p>Everyone assured him the video was ready to reveal to the world. Everyone assured him it was good. </p><p>But Ethan had started to feel doubts. Every time he thought about releasing the video, his stomach twisted around until he thought he might throw up. He kept trying to convince himself that it was good -- that he could release it because people would like it. </p><p>But what if they didn’t? His mind kept attacking him, telling him the video was horrible, that no one would like it, that they would make fun of him for even trying.<br/>
He was terrified that he would be called a failure. </p><p>On one night when these thoughts were particularly bad, he suddenly remembered something that he’d forgotten. </p><p>“Can I tell you a secret? I am terrified of failing. But you have no reason to be afraid. Have you seen the stuff you make?”</p><p>Those had been Mark’s words. Ethan was surprised he remembered them as exactly as he did. But then again, maybe it wasn’t so surprising; those words had meant a lot to him. Mark had been so kind and encouraging. </p><p>But Mark had also said he was terrified of failing. If Mark -- his friend Mark, THE Markiplier -- was scared of failing, then what chance did Ethan have?</p><p>“But you have no reason to be afraid,” the voice rang through the storm in his mind. </p><p>“Have you seen the stuff you make?”</p><p>Ethan rolled over in his bed and sighed. Then he rolled again. Then again. He was facing his nightstand. He could see the outline of his phone in the darkness. It hit him that he hadn’t told Mark about his project yet. </p><p>He sat up, looking nervously at his phone and fidgeting. </p><p>It was way too late to call Mark. Wasn’t it?</p><p>Ethan thought hard. He knew Mark usually went to sleep around ten. Ethan, exhausted from filming, editing, and trying to work up the guts to release his video all day, had called it an early night. He hadn’t even slept yet, his thoughts keeping him awake. It was probably too late. </p><p>‘Ok, ok -- if it’s past ten, I won’t call him. But if it’s not…’ Ethan tried to reason with himself. </p><p>Nodding his head in an attempt to solidify his decision, he picked up his phone. Holding it in front of his face, he stared at the black screen for a few moments before clicking it on. </p><p>‘9:45’ blinked back at him, the white light stinging his eyes. </p><p>Ethan sighed. </p><p>Then before he could psyche himself out, he dialed Mark’s number.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The phone rang several times, and Ethan almost hung up. He didn’t want to be a bother, and he felt like he was about to be just that. </p><p>But before he got the chance to, he heard a click. </p><p>“Hey, Ethan. What’s up?” Mark’s voice was low and gravelly, and sounded tired. </p><p>Ethan smacked a hand to his forehead. </p><p>“I’m so sorry -- did I wake you up?” He asked guiltily. </p><p>“No, no -- not at all,” Mark said calmly. “Jus tired, as usual,” his chuckle came crackly through the phone speaker. </p><p>Ethan took a deep breath, letting it out in a shaky laugh. </p><p>“Fyew, good. Sorry.”</p><p>“No problem man,” Mark said, his voice rising an octave in reassurance. </p><p>“Um,” Ethan started, realizing his friend would be wondering why Ethan had called him so late. “So, I’ve kinda been working on… a thing, and I was wondering if you could maybe come over tomorrow -- or I could come to your house -- so you could look at it for me?” His voice came out rushed, his words bumping into each other. </p><p>There was silence on the other end for a second, and Ethan heard a single, loud heartbeat reverberate through his chest. </p><p>“A thing,?” Mark asked, and Ethan could hear the smile in his voice. </p><p>Ethan smiled too. “Yeah, a thing.” Then in a silly, teasing voice he added, “If you say yes, you can find out more.”</p><p>He heard Mark laugh. “Yeah, of course I’ll take a look. How about I come over tomorrow? ‘Round one?”</p><p>Ethan thought over his schedule as best he could. </p><p>“Uhhh, can we do closer to one-thirty? I’ve got a meeting at twelve, and I don’t want to push it. Don’t want you getting stuck outside my house, haha”</p><p>“Uh, Ethan, you know I have a key, right?” Mark said jokingly. </p><p>Ethan did not know. </p><p>He laughed, “What? When did you get a key? You tryin’ to break in? Steal my socks while I sleep? I have to warn you, I have a very vicious guard dog,” he patted Spencer, who was asleep next to him on the bed. </p><p>Mark laughed his high, chirping laugh.</p><p> “Oh yeah, vicious. But yeah, you gave me a spare when I was dog sitting your ‘vicious guard dog’ that one time.”</p><p>Ethan remembered now. </p><p>“Ohhhh, right.”</p><p>“Anyways, one-thirty works fine. See you then?”</p><p>Ethan smiled, feeling better already. </p><p>“See you then.”</p><p>	After they hung up, Ethan felt lighter, like he didn’t have to worry about the project anymore, because Mark would be able to tell him if it was ready to be released or not. </p><p>	Ethan was asleep by ten, and remained that way until his alarm went off in the morning. </p><p> </p><p>The next day went by quickly. Ethan rose early, filmed a video, took Spencer for a quick walk, helped Katheryn with a few chores, and then went to his meeting. His days weren’t usually so jam packed; from the moment he got up he was in a constant state of activity. Even if it was little, meaningless things like refolding his laundry or washing the dishes from breakfast by hand, rather than just putting them into the dishwasher. His meeting did even more to preoccupy his mind.</p><p>‘You’re doing this because you’re nervous,’ He thought to himself. </p><p>‘No -- no I’m not. I’m not nervous, why would I be nervous?’</p><p>All day he tried to convince himself he was fine, that he wasn't nervous because there was no reason to be. </p><p>But he couldn’t help it. His anxiety had kicked into high gear, and he was, in fact, insanely nervous. </p><p>His mind kept going over what Mark might say, what issues he might notice, what critiques he might have. It took nearly every ounce of Ethan’s willpower to not go back and re-edit the video. He knew that wouldn’t do him any good, and he was proud of how it had turned out, so instead of making changes he might regret, he busied himself with distractions. He only needed to last until one-thirty, and then it wouldn’t matter anyway.</p><p>When he got a text and saw it was from Mark, his heart nearly jumped up his throat.</p><p> </p><p>‘Hey, sorry, but can you come over instead? I under anticipated how quickly I could get some things done. Same time works.’</p><p> </p><p>Ethan thought he felt relief, but in his state of anxiety, he couldn’t really tell. He shot a quick text back. </p><p> </p><p>‘Yeah, no problem. See you soon.’</p><p> </p><p>It startled him how quickly the afternoon arrived. One minute he was eating breakfast, the next it was one-fifteen and time for him to set out for Mark’s house.<br/>
His stomach churned with anxiety. He hadn’t eaten lunch -- his meeting, which had taken place over zoom, had run late -- but he was so sick with nerves that he couldn’t even think about food. </p><p>He grabbed a sweatshirt from his room and pulled it on as he stumbled to his recording room. Staring down at the SD card that contained the video, he wondered if it was too late to cancel on Mark. But he rejected this idea the moment he’d thought it; No, despite how nervous he was, he really did want Mark’s opinion. Getting Mark’s feedback on his video would either make him feel ready to release it, or bring his attention to anything that needed to be fixed or changed. Nerves or not, he wanted to hear what Mark had to say.<br/>
So, he grabbed the card and practically ran down the stairs, wanting to get out the door before he changed his mind.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>When he arrived at Mark’s, his friend answered his knock almost immediately. The older man threw open the door, gesturing for Ethan to come in. And then, almost in the same motion, Mark was gone, disappearing around the corner. </p>
<p>“Just gimme a second, I gotta move some boxes for Amy before we start.” The sound of Mark’s voice grew fainter as he grew further away from Ethan, who assumed that his friend was going down the hallway to the spare office. </p>
<p>He wasn’t really sure whether to follow or not. After a moment of fidgeting, he decided to trail after Mark. </p>
<p>“No problem,” he said, feeling as if he was talking to himself. “D’you want some help?”</p>
<p>Mark’s head popped out of the spare office -- exactly where Ethan had guessed he was going.</p>
<p>“In here,” he said with a smile, and then, “Yeah, sure. Thanks.”</p>
<p>Ethan nodded, and Mark piled a few boxes into his arms. They weren’t heavy, but they were awkward to carry, and Ethan nearly tripped on his way back out into the hallway. </p>
<p>“Woaaah,” came Ethan’s unsteady voice, changing octaves as he struggled to regain control over the tower of boxes. </p>
<p>“Y’okay out there?” Mark asked, and Ethan could hear the smirk in his voice. </p>
<p>“Yeah, yeah. Pshhh, I can handle a few boxes,” Ethan said in a comically husky voice. </p>
<p>“Okay man,” surrendered Mark with a laugh.</p>
<p>His voice was closer than Ethan had expected; Mark had caught up to him, carrying his own stack of boxes. </p>
<p>“What’s in all of these?” Ethan asked, genuinely curious. </p>
<p>“Ah, some art supplies. Amy needs them in the garage.”</p>
<p>“Gotcha,” Ethan said and, without further prompting, headed in the direction of the garage. </p>
<p>They put the boxes down where Mark directed, and then headed back into the house, slightly out of breath. </p>
<p>“Whew,” Ethan sighed. “Didn’t know your advice came at the price of manual labor.”</p>
<p>Mark laughed. “Oh, you’re looking for my advice, are ya. Well, that shit’s not free,” he joked. </p>
<p>Ethan joined his friend in laughter, but remembering why he had come made the anxious feeling return, churning around in his stomach. </p>
<p>“But seriously, I appreciate you being willing to look at my stuff.”</p>
<p>Mark looked at him a little surprised, his features softening. “Yeah man,” he said. “Anytime -- I’m flattered that you even want my opinion on it.”</p>
<p>It was Ethan’s turn to look surprised. </p>
<p>“Are you kidding? You’re like the most creative person I know. If you like my shit, then I know it’s good enough to post.”</p>
<p>Mark’s eyebrows furrowed, and he tilted his head. </p>
<p>“Aw, man,” he waved his hand, “cut that shit out.” But he was smiling softly, the way he always did when people complimented him. </p>
<p>It killed Ethan, how Mark reacted to compliments from the people he cared about -- like he couldn’t believe they were about him. Mark might have a bit of an ego, but Ethan sometimes forgot that the man doubted himself too. </p>
<p>“So,” Mark said after a moment of reflective silence. “Can I have a look?”</p>
<p>They headed into Mark’s recording room. Ethan stood before the computer, clammy with nerves. It felt like he was about to show the entire world his short film. Mark, who was peering around Ethan’s shoulder and eyeing the SD card in his hands, seemed to pick up on his anxiety. </p>
<p>“Ethan,” he said in a low, kind voice. “It’s all good man. Don’t worry about it, okay?”</p>
<p>Ethan gave his friend a sideways glance, putting on a smirk that probably looked more like a grimace with the way he was feeling. </p>
<p>“Oh yeah -- not worried, just…” Ethan trailed off. </p>
<p>Then he put the card in, letting out the deep breath he’d been holding.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It took a few moments to pull up the video. While Ethan was attending to that, Mark pulled up his gaming chair. When the video was ready, Ethan took a step back, letting Mark situate himself at the desk. </p>
<p>“Ok,” Ethan said, standing behind Mark, off to the side, where he could get a good view of the older man’s face. </p>
<p>“Ok,” Mark echoed, and he pushed play. </p>
<p>Ethan watched Mark’s face for twenty minutes. He watched every expression, every movement. He heard the familiar sounds of the video in the background, things he had heard a million times during the editing process. Still, they sounded oddly foreign with Mark here. </p>
<p>Ethan watched as his friend laughed at the video’s jokes and admired the cinematography. The few times that Mark’s eyebrow twitched, or his fingers tapped on the desk were not lost to the boy; he could tell Mark had some things he wanted to say, but was leaving them till the end. All the while, Ethan’s foot tapped nervously. </p>
<p>And then it was over. </p>
<p>Mark scooted back from the desk and leaned back in his chair, arms crossed in front of him. He had a particular look on his face, and Ethan was having a hard time figuring out what it meant. Then Mark looked at him. </p>
<p>His friend’s eyes were full of pride. Mark had a wide grin on his face that reached all the way to his eyes, crinkling the skin around them with its intensity. </p>
<p>“Holy shit, Ethan,” Mark, who was now facing the boy, said in an almost choked up voice.</p>
<p>“Yeah?” Ethan laughed nervously. “Holy shit -- what does that mean -- holy-shit-good, or--”</p>
<p>Mark cut him off. </p>
<p>“'Holy shit you’re unfathomably talented,' holy shit,” Mark said firmly. </p>
<p>Ethan just stared at his friend. He hadn’t expected Mark to be a dick or anything, but he also hadn’t expected so much praise. </p>
<p>“Y-Yeah?” Ethan said shyly. “Because, I kinda thought that the part around the eight minute mark was kind of shitty, but no matter how I edited it it just didn’t really--”</p>
<p>Ethan stopped rambling when Mark raised his hand, a befuddled expression consuming his face. </p>
<p>“Ethan, are you serious man?”</p>
<p>“I dunno, I just feel like there’s a lot that could be fixed and I just think that it’s--”</p>
<p>Mark stood up, and Ethan found himself staring into his friend’s eyes. Mark reached out a hand and put it on Ethan’s shoulder, giving him a firm squeeze. </p>
<p>“I’m proud of you, kid,” he said softly, and Ethan could tell from Mark’s face that he really meant it. </p>
<p>The boy’s eyes began to feel heavy with tears.</p>
<p>Mark continued, “It’s a good video. Really, I liked it. I’ve got some pointers for future ones, if you want them--” </p>
<p>Ethan nodded his head, and had begun to open his mouth when Mark butted in:</p>
<p>“But none for this one. It’s a really good video, Ethan.” He looked into the boy’s eyes as if searching for an acknowledgement that Ethan believed him. </p>
<p>Ethan stared back, then a broad grin spread across his face. </p>
<p>“You think so? You think it’s ready to go up?”</p>
<p>“Hell yeah. Eth, the fans are gonna love it,” He gave Ethan’s shoulder a gentle push to emphasize his point. </p>
<p>Ethan let out a heavy sigh. “O-okay. Yeah, okay. Cool.”</p>
<p>Mark smiled warmly at him and let go of his shoulder. </p>
<p>“Hey, thanks Mark. Really, it means a lot.”</p>
<p>“Aw,” Mark said, waving his hand again. “Nah,” </p>
<p>And then, looking intently at Ethan, he added, “I’m really am proud of you, Ethan.”</p>
<p>And neither man could keep a smile off their face. </p>
<p>They grinned at each other until suddenly, a low rumbling cut through the silence. </p>
<p>Mark raised an eyebrow.</p>
<p>Ethan chuckled, embarrassed. “Oh, I didn’t eat lunch today,” he said airily. </p>
<p>Now that the nervousness had passed, he realized how hungry he actually was. </p>
<p>Mark shook his head, but he was laughing. </p>
<p>“Alright chuckles,” he said fondly. “Let’s get you some food. I’m actually kinda hungry too.”</p>
<p>Ethan followed Mark into the hallway and down the stairs. He felt like he was floating, he was so happy. Then an idea hit him. </p>
<p>“Hey, Mark?”</p>
<p>“Hmm?”</p>
<p>“I’ve got some ideas for another short film, maybe I could run them by you and we could bounce some ideas around while we eat?”</p>
<p>Mark stopped briefly on their way to the kitchen to turn and look at the boy. </p>
<p>“Yeah,” he said with a grin. “Let’s do it.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Heyo! Hope you enjoyed!</p>
<p>I've got a few potential fic ideas on the way, so stay tuned for that. If anyone has any suggestions, requests, or general comments, feel free to leave them in the comments on here, or you can find me over on tumblr @orangechickenpillow :)</p>
<p>Hope everyone is well and safe!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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